Welcome to Crafty Dog Towers, a decidedly unusual country estate in the wilds of Swanseashire—where the hills conceal ancient seams of jam and chutney, escaped llamas roam the countryside, and even the ghosts have difficulty keeping themselves together.

Meet Mr Grout, the long-suffering Head Gardener; Pendle, his ingenious but suspiciously idle assistant; and Marguerite de Boudin, the formidable former Foreign Legionnaire who rules the kitchen with a wooden spoon and nerves of steel. Along with a household of eccentric servants, dignified greyhounds and wayward wildlife, they face illicit greenhouse gin, wheelbarrow races, sherry-soaked trifles, tin-bath naval expeditions and numerous other threats to horticulture and good order.

Warm, whimsical and gloriously absurd, Tales of Crafty Dog Gardens is a celebration of friendship, eccentricity and the comforting knowledge that, however badly the day may unravel, someone will eventually put the kettle on.

Sensible footwear is advised—though not always sufficient!

Reviews So Far

Reviewers have said it’s “Pratchett meets Clochmerle in a Welsh Jam mine”, “a bonkers tale of even more bonkers characters”, “a very alternative view of South Wales history – and its got greyhounds in it!”, “I expected Jeeves and Wooster to appear any minute”, “Cook is the most fabulous funny character and I loved it!”   What more can we say?

This is for Pre-order copies – the books will be posted once they have arrived from the printer, 16th November.  If you would like it signed and dedicated, leave a note on the order page, or message us on info@crafty-dog-cymru.co.uk.

The Story behind the book

During the Covid pandemic, we began sharing short, absurd stories on Facebook and the Crafty Dog Cymru Website about the imaginary staff of Crafty Dog Towers and its surrounding estate. Intended as moments of light relief in a dark time, the tales began with Mr Grout, the Head Gardener, and his idle Gardener’s Lad, Pendulous Sedge—Pendle for short. His name came from a grass mentioned by a friend on Facebook, and it suited him perfectly. Before long, more members of staff appeared, each adding to the comic goings-on at the Towers and Gardens, including Cook, the mysterious half-Welsh, half-French former member of the French Foreign Legion’s catering corps, Higgins, the butler, Mrs Grainger, the Housekeeper and a number of other cast members as the plot required.

A Peculiar Local History

The Towers needed more than a staff; they needed a past. So we gave them a place in Swanseashire history, complete with local traditions: the Christmas tree, the pudding, and the annual staff-versus-family football match in the Great Hall. Naturally, there are ghosts as well—some haunting the corridors, and one lurking among the recycling bins behind the visitors’ car park. And what a history it is: fortunes made from jam and chutney mines; the wild west of the Amman Valley, populated by outlaws and vagabonds; and hills roamed by escaped llamas, now feral, brought from South America in the 1860s. After all, if Australia can have camels, why shouldn’t Swanseashire have llamas?